KC Chronicles

First Day of Kindergarten and the Lessons for Managers

2011-09-07T14:26:00.000-04:00

Last week my Goddaughter CarlyAnn started kindergarten. I was so lucky to be able to be able to participate in the first day activities with the family!!

After seeing CarlyAnn get settled in class, we then went to the “Coffee and Kleenex” portion of the morning. The school counselor had put together a fantastic packet of information for the parents.

This is the first of a couple blogs that I’ll share with you. It’s amazing to me that the same information that applies to children also applies to adults. In keeping with that, it also amazes me how the information given to parents can also apply to management.

This is taken from the National PTA. You’ll see my notes on how this applies to managers after each number.

Feel free to share this with your manager or start doing some of this if you currently manage a team. :-) Enjoy!

Ten Ways to Participate in your Child’s Education

Ten Ways to Participate in your Employee’s Growth

1. Build your child’s self esteem. Listen to what they have to say and praise them for the things they do well.

a. Build your employee’s confidence in working with you. Listen to what they have to say. Reprimand in private and praise in public.

2. Encourage your children to talk about their feelings, accomplishments, and problems.

a. Encourage your employee to have an active and direct conversation with you during 1:1 times or when appropriate. Validate the feelings, cheer the accomplishments, and coach through the problems.

3. Be a positive role model for your children. Teach them right from wrong at an early age.

a. Be a positive role model for your employee. Your example is being watched and will be followed. Be honest, be direct, and be nice.

4. Tell your children it’s all right to make mistakes, as long as they learn from them.

a. Tell your employee it’s all right to make mistakes, as long as they learn from them. Make sure you’ve shared what the repercussions would entail should errors continue.

5. Allow your children to see you read daily newspapers, books, etc. Read stories aloud and tell them about your culture and heritage.

a. Keep up with what is going on in your industry and share with the team. Teach the ones that don’t know the history of the industry how what they are doing fits in to the big picture.

6. Show an interest in your children’s school activities by helping them with their homework and getting to know their teachers.
a. Show an interest in the daily work of your employees. Understand what they go through on a daily basis. Get to know the customers/peers/etc they interact with and offer to help when appropriate.

7. Take your children to museums, the local library, and other free educational and cultural events whenever possible.

a. Allow employees to attend trade shows, seminars, and activities that will enhance the work experience.

8. Ask that report cards and other school documents be made available in both English and Spanish.

a. When your employees have to attend trainings or have new requirements that come out, make sure they are easy to comprehend and that you are readily available to help them understand the material. Attempt to review the information ahead of time if available and alert the trainer or leader to any landmines that may exist (appropriately, of course).

9. Ask the school to provide a translator for meetings and whether English as a second language classes are available.

a. Be a champion for your employees to grow professionally. For example, if a public speaking course would enhance their professionalism, then make that happen. Get to know what opportunities are out there for growth opportunities for your team.

10. Join the PTA or volunteer at your children’s school.

a. Join local networking groups (and encourage your employees if appropriate) to keep up with the industry and others that manage teams. Exchange information and seek out ideas that have worked for other managers. Volunteer and give back to the community.

Next in the series: What to Expect from a Kindergartner and how this applies to management.

The Royal Wedding...a nice reprieve

2011-04-27T14:24:00.000-04:00

I know there is dissension among the masses on whether or not the 'obsession' of the Royal Wedding is worth our time and attention.

I'm here on behalf of those that are watching this event from afar with much ado.

Sometimes, we just need a distraction from our own lives and the crazy stuff happening in the world. Here are my top 10 reasons why it's OK to get all into this wonderful event:

TOP 10 REASONS TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET CARRIED AWAY WITH THE ROYAL WEDDING:

10. A-Listers: Those going and those NOT going. How GREAT is is that some folks here in America that 'thought' they should be invited simply were not. *snicker*

9. Architecture: What a great time to be reminded of some of the wonderful architecture that is in England.

8. Entertainment: I am loving the magazines with all the fantastic pictures and the story of their romance! Every day, some great stories come out..did you hear about the guy/gal who (fill in the blank here)? It's nice to have something new to read.

7. British Accent: How often does walking around practicing your British accent really apply to life? In my life, only to be made fun of since I'm lousy at fake accents. Just try it. Walk up to random folks and ask (in your British accent), "Care to join me for a spot of tea ol' chap?"

6. Costume Changes: Who doesn't love events with costume changes??? All the great concerts have them...and we've been bombarded with all sorts of comparisons between Kate and Diana along with all of Kate's styles through the years. It's like watching a 'dress up doll' in the media. Super fun!

5. History: This is another moment in history we get to witness. In addition to that, our country is just too young to have such a grand legacy. Let's just appreciate all the pomp and circumstance.

4. Cheesy Paraphernalia Being Sold: Some of the stuff that is being sold with the images of Kate and Will is just hilarious. Plates, cups, coins...come and get 'em!! They are even selling "Royal Wedding Condoms". Seriously. No, really. I'm not kidding.

Crown Jewels, Condoms of Distinction

Don't believe me? Go to the Google. Even I can't make this stuff up.

3. Excuse to have a party: Those in my circle know I'll throw a party just because the day ends in 'y', but I can't wait to create a cool memory with some friends at my BYOT party. That's right folks: Bring Your Own Tiara and have a jolly good time watching a wedding over tea and crumpets!

2. Opportunity to wear a tiara: My daily regime does not entail polishing my tiara and donning it for the day. Friday, however, I shall bring out my best tiara and don it to celebrate the idea of true love and the fact that a commoner will be an actual princess. Wow.

Finally, the #1 reason why it is OK to get carried away:

Friends, we have some bad things going on in our world today. Countries are at war with each other, gas prices are taking huge chunks out of our accounts, unemployment rates are still a problem, our economy has not made it's way out of the toilet yet, there are children and families that may not have food today or tomorrow, and the list goes on.

All of that will still be there on Saturday. Let's just take one day to celebrate love; one day to celebrate hope; one day to don a tiara and leave our own worries at bay.

Until next time...Cheerio Mates!

Metaphorical Tornadoes

2011-04-20T18:26:00.000-04:00

Tornado: noun /tôrˈnādō/

A mobile, destructive vortex of violently rotating winds having the appearance of a funnel-shaped cloud and advancing beneath a large storm system.

Does it really matter if it's predictable or not?

Having just got my power back from the most recent North Carolina Tornadoes, I am tad behind in my internet reading. Meteorologist Mike Smith has criticized some news media for claiming that tornadoes are unpredictable and that Saturday’s deadly twisters in North Carolina were a “surprise.”

He demonstrated the National Weather Service highlighted the high risk for a dangerous tornado outbreak more than twelve hours in advance. He also showed the NWS issued a rare “particularly dangerous situation” tornado watch more than a hour before the first storm touched down. The National Weather Service said the average warning lead time for the tornadoes was 20-30 minutes.

Most probably didn't even hear the warnings and those that did, most likely did not heed the warnings.

This made me wonder...hmmm...how many tornadoes (real or metaphorical ) happen in our lives where we were given fair warning but chose to simply ignore it?

I believe that if I had $1.00 for ever time I've uttered a phrase like this: "son of a gun...I should have seen that coming", I would be writing this blog from the coast in my fully paid beach house and not my 4x4 cubicle. Oh, I mean, my couch since I'd certainly never use company time to rant. Check the time....definitely AFTER business hours somewhere.

Back to the question..."does it matter if it's predictable?" I'd like to think that I've learned my lesson(s) and would take a different course of action if faced with a predictable tornado. However, I think we all know that is not the case. And, I know a few of you who have been in that very same boat with me. Let's travel down memory lane....

Welcome aboard! I'll be your cruise director for this storm...ahem...trip. I think we all know that most bad decisions have a lot of the same scenery. Think of a time when you made a decision you wish you could reverse.

Stop #1: Right here on board the ship! That nagging feeling you had in your gut. The one where you knew it was too good to be true. The one you ignored. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Lesson from that stop: Don't ignore that nagging feeling!! It's there for a reason (most of the time). You have enough life experience to know when something is not right.

Stop #2: Off to the right. See all those people waving? Those are your closest confidants that gave you some pretty good advice that you didn't take. Isn't it ironic....don't ya think?

Lesson from that stop: It's like good advice that you just didn't take. Let it go, but c'mon, let's pause next time and not blow them off so quickly.

Stop #3: What's that ahead? A big RED flag. So big that it just caressed your cheek as we passed right by it. Hold on, there's another RED flag. And another....

Lesson from that stop: Every time you see a red flag, say to yourself "Danger, Danger Will Robinson!!" Really take the time to explore the possible outcomes. Perhaps spend some time in meditation and prayer even when it may be uncomfortable.

Whew...that's enough with traveling down memory lane. Back to the Aloha deck for some dancing and drinks with cute little umbrellas in them. Friends, we are all going to spend some time in the storms, regardless of whether or not we should have seen them coming.

Stock up on some candles and canned goods. Make sure your life preserver doesn't have any holes and hold on. Just like the tornadoes...they blew in and blew right back out. The tornadoes going on in your life will do the same. You may have to go without power for a few days and need to replace a few shingles.

Until then, I have extra candles if you need them.

Inspiration from a King and a Katt

2011-01-17T15:20:00.001-05:00

"Let no man pull you low enough to hate him." Martin Luther King Jr. once said this. I stumbled across this nugget as I was preparing my opening thoughts for my Toastmasters meeting.

As I was ruminating about this...it brought back to mind something that inspired me back in December. I had the opportunity to re-watch a Katt Williams comedy routine. Within that routine, Katt talks about getting in touch with your "star player".

Take some time to really get in touch with your star player: YOU. We've got a lot coming up against us this year and if you're not in touch with what really matters, it will consume you. There are forces and people out there that will try to bring you down. Think about it...how many times have you told someone good news about an issue in your life and they immediately said something disparaging? Grrrr...

Unfortunately, haters are everywhere and they want you to be miserable. Don't allow them to pull you down. Smile, nod and make the mental note. Then, put them out of your mind. No need to hate them. Just recognize that they are not in a good place and looking for company. Let's do our part to pull THEM UP, but not to the detriment of the star player. Some people just like to live in misery.

All star players have a team around them. Who is on YOUR team? Who can you count on to help you defend against the haters? We're not always going to get it right. We WILL make mistakes. Take a few minutes and think about who those people are for you, those that stand up for you, even when you may not get it right.

Who would you want to take into battle with you? That's right folks. BATTLE. This is the year we stop letting the haters have their way with us. This is the year we put them in their place for that crap. Are you with me?

Oh, I know who's with me.

If you're going to ask people to go into battle with you, it's important you be ready to go into battle with them as well. I have polished my armor, warmed up my battle muscles, and there's plenty of horsepower in the chariot. Friends, I'm ready to do battle with you.

Let's lift each other up this year and keep the haters back behind the walls. After all, "in the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Martin Luther King Jr).

When Did Your Eyes First Open?

2011-01-04T16:07:00.001-05:00

I remember a time when I was pretty naive about the world. Do you remember that time in your life? It hits everyone at a different age and time. You know what I'm talking about...the event(s) that you either witnessed or experienced that opened your eyes for the first time to the tragedies that exist in our world.

For me, the 'opening of my eyes' was during an internship in college. As I was cleaning off an old computer (by 'old' I mean one that had Windows 98 on it), I came across a paper that a friend of mine wrote in 2003 as a class assignment for college. It is about part of my experience on the Cherokee Reservation back in the early 90's when I interned as a Guardian Ad Litem.

While I was re-reading this for the first time in 7 years, there were a few things I was reminded of:

1. I was/am very blessed to have a wonderful set of parents and a great childhood.
2. If you think a swat on the butt of a child for misbehaving is abuse, you are mistaken.
3. It's important to take good notes.
4. There are things you will never be able to "un-see".
5. A good cry cleanses the soul.

To understand, read below:

Meredith Threatt
Advanced Comp
September 2, 2003

Kathy Crowley: Guardian Ad Litem

“Is it ok for my daddy to touch me…down there?”

The question hit Kathy across the face as it leapt from the lips of a normally shy twelve-year-old Native American girl whose brother was already one of Kathy’s cases. Kathy’s defenses went up immediately.

Her initial panicked thoughts of “how do we get this child out of that house?” had to be replaced by the rules her training had ingrained in her:

#1: Stay calm.

#2: Don’t ask too many questions.

#3: Call in a professional.

After all, Kathy was not a professional. She was an intern.

It was the summer of 1993, the summer before Kathy Crowley went back to West Carolina University to complete her four-year degree in criminal justice. It was also the summer that changed her views of the world and of parenting. And after a particularly trying case, it would be the summer that altered Kathy’s career path away from criminal justice altogether.

On a tip from a college advisor, Kathy discovered an opportunity to be a summer intern with the Guardian Ad Litem program in Asheville, NC. A Guardian Ad Litem is a volunteer who acts as a child’s voice in the criminal justice system. As an unpaid volunteer, Kathy would spent her summer counseling children, investigating reports of child abuse and juvenile delinquency and occasionally making court appearances on behalf of children too young to testify for themselves. Since Kathy’s major required an internship and she was already leaning toward a job with juvenile services, the position seemed like an exciting opportunity. So early in June, Kathy packed her bags and moved onto the Cherokee Reservation to begin her work as an Ad Litem volunteer.
The first case Kathy was given involved a young boy with deep scars on his right shoulder. Kathy’s heart ached when she discovered the scars were from cigarette burns. Apparently the young boy’s father had been careful to put his cigarettes out high enough on the boy’s arm that his T-shirt would conceal the wounds. Teachers and friends were oblivious to the torment the young child endured at home. To her dismay, Kathy soon discovered this sort of case was typical in her new role.

As the summer progressed, Kathy found herself working on the case of another young Native American boy. This time it was the stepfather who was the abuser and he was beating his stepson. While working on the case, Kathy visited the boy’s home and eventually met his siblings. There were two younger sisters and a younger brother in the house. The older of the two sisters was Anita (name changed for her privacy). Anita was just twelve years old. She was that same twelve year old girl that walked into the office and asked the question that sent Kathy reeling: “Is it ok for my daddy to touch me…down there?”

As Kathy sat looking into the large brown eyes of the young, slightly overweight girl, she struggled to wrap her mind around Anita’s question. Kathy gently explained that it is ok for daddies to hug their children and asked Anita to explain her question further. While Anita tried to explain exactly what she meant, the training started to kick in and Kathy moved quietly to a phone. She tried to keep Anita calm and at ease while she called in a professional detective. It was imperative to keep Anita feeling safe enough to keep talking without letting her say too much before the detective arrived. This part of Kathy’s training had been explicit. While Kathy kept Anita occupied with toys and games, a detective slipped into the room and joined their conversation. Kathy looked reassuringly into Anita’s eyes and asked the young girl to share her story with the detective. As Anita talked, Kathy’s heart sank. She realized the stepfather she was already investigating for beating his son had also had sex with his daughter. What she did not know at the time was that Anita’s brother had seen it happen.

A physical exam soon revealed that Anita, just twelve years old, was pregnant. Later, DNA tests confirmed that her stepfather was to blame. Kathy was appointed Guardian Ad Litem in the case. She would be the young girl’s voice in this trial. From that moment forward, every move was critical. Every conversation was recorded in explicit detail. Care was taken to follow the law to the letter. And as each day brought them closer to trial, Kathy’s thoughts echoed in her head, “I can’t screw this up. If I screw this up this father will get away with it. If I don’t do everything right, he’s going to go free and that will be my fault.”

Kathy did do everything right. Though the case didn’t make it to court until after the summer was over and Kathy had already returned to West Carolina to tackle her senior year, her case notes were entered into evidence on Anita’s behalf. The evidence Kathy had gathered was impeccable and overwhelming. Despite Anita’s mother constantly swearing it never happened, a federal court and a ton of scientific evidence convicted Anita’s stepfather of incest and sent him to prison. Anita’s mother was ordered to receive counseling to, as Kathy puts it, “help her see that her alliances should be with her child.”

News of the verdict did not reach Kathy until midway through the fall semester. It came by phone. The director of the Guardian Ad Litem program called Kathy’s dorm room to give her the good news. Kathy was elated. As she hung up the phone, she ran into the hallway looking for someone to help her rejoice in the victory. Sorority sisters gathered round as Kathy explained the story and trumpeted the news of the stepfather’s incarceration. The young women in Kathy’s dorm exalted with her. But as the joyful celebration subsided, Kathy’s thoughts returned to Anita.
The twelve-year-old had suffered so much at the hands of her stepfather. The trial that had offered a sense of closure and relief for so many did not end Anita’s suffering. Anita was still carrying her father’s child. Anita’s mother tried to force her daughter to have an abortion, but the unborn baby was considered evidence in the case and so its life was spared. On a number of occasions, Anita had talked with Kathy about the baby. The young girl wanted to keep the baby and raise it. Kathy suspected that more than anything Anita simply wanted something of her very own. But Anita wasn’t allowed to keep the baby. Once it was born, Social Services forced Anita to put her baby up for adoption. Anita, on the other hand, was never removed from her home.

Ten years have passed since that arduous summer. Kathy graduated from West Carolina University with a degree in criminal justice and started her career in that field. After a few years as a parole officer in Georgia, Kathy opted to take a job in management with a large computer company. Kathy still considers the Guardian Ad Litem program an exceptional experience and believes it is an important part of the criminal justice system. But the abuse she witnessed proved to be something she couldn’t bear to see every day for the rest of her professional life. Kathy is grateful that her experience with the Ad Litem program came when it did. She says, “If I had seen the things I saw when I was just a year or two younger, before I knew all the theories on child abuse and before I had become firm in my religious beliefs, I’m pretty sure I would have gone the other way. It would have driven me away from God and away from prayer, instead of solidifying my spiritual beliefs the way that it did.”

Take a couple minutes to say 'thank you' for the good things in your life.

Break Up By PowerPoint

2010-11-15T06:52:00.001-05:00

Break Up By PowerPoint is a speech I created for Toastmasters. (When you watch the video...2 things: 1. it's 7 min long so plan appropriately; 2. you may have to adjust the volume at some points...my mic tended to go in and out). Link is included below to the YouTube site where it's posted.

Toastmasters is fantastic...this is where I really get to show my creativity. Especially in a world where sometimes our creativity gets stifled, Toastmasters, for me, is one of the places where I can share some of my adventures.

The best part: sometimes I even win trophies. For those of you that know me well, you know that I will participate in just about anything if there is a possibility of winning a trophy at the end. Several of you may remember that I won 2 contests with another true story: "Technology Can Burn You", where I wrote a true story of an employee that worked for me at a prior gig. I discovered that he was going to resign via Facebook. However, that is another story.

Break Up By PowerPoint allowed me to win 3 contests and take home 2 trophies.

Here is how the speech evolved:

1: I dated a guy many years ago that those of you in my inner circle know as "the devil". Most of you are probably not even aware of this, but the devil is a cute, blond haired, blue eyed musician. If you see him, I recommend you throw your drink at him and run.

2: Fast forward a few years. I helped a friend write a break up letter to a guy she needed to stop seeing. My letter was not very effective and he kept coming back! This is where Break Up By PowerPoint was born. It was suggested to me that perhaps I needed to be more clear and possibly utilize slides.

BRILLIANT.

3: Decide this will be my last speech out of the Toastmaster manual "Entertaining Speaking".

4: Choose boy to write about. No brainer. The devil will work just fine. I did not change his name in the speech to protect him. Truth is usually better than fiction anyway. :-)

5: Write speech. Practice. Practice. Practice.

6: Start live performance(s) at Toastmasters.

Folks, sometimes there is no better way to get true closure than making a parody out of a relationship gone awry.

I hope you all enjoy it...remember, it can be tailored for any type of breakup. My next installment of the Break Up by PowerPoint series will be how to break up with an employer. Stay tuned.

Link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0h-XwgQgA

Who Loves Dating?

2010-10-26T17:17:00.017-04:00

Recently, I told a boy that I was not going to further invest any emotion into our relationship. I did that because his actions clearly told me that he was still tied (emotionally and a little bit financially) to his ex. They have been divorced for over two years.

Turns out, boys don't call you again after you say such things to them.

Since then, I have ruminated several times about this decision to be honest...started to second guess whether that was the right thing to do. Then it dawned on me: one of my favorite Deep
Thoughts by Jack Handey:

"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone."

When relationships end, it's so easy to start thinking of the good times. This was my second go around with this particular boy. I had forgotten why we stopped seeing each other the first time. We allow ourselves to be swept away...until we are reminded of why it ended the first time. Oh. Right. Now I remember. Sigh.

The thought of having to start over yet again can seem so daunting. Dating is not for sissies, that's for sure. I'm totally looking forward to the next adventure though. In order to psych myself up for this, I put this in the google line: who loves dating?

The most interesting site (to me) that came back was this one: http://www.loveisgreat.com/. The guy that started the site did this because he needed to redirect his feelings in a positive way. It's actually a very touchy feely site...very positive. He posted a bunch of 'truisms' that relate to love. Here is my favorite...it's a quote from Helen Keller:

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens: but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."

BAM.

Moral(s) of the story?

1. Stop looking at closed doors.
2. When things go the way of lava, let 'em go.

Be nice, until it's time not to be...

2008-10-13T14:20:00.007-04:00

When did being nice and polite go out of style? Someone please re-send me the memo...I was clearly left off the distribution list.

:-)

One of my favorite movies in the world is "Roadhouse" with Patrick Swayze. The scene that takes the cake for me is the one where Dalton (P. Swayze's character) is in the bar training the bouncers. He tells them to always be nice until it's time not to be nice. Of course, one of the bouncers asked how will they know when it's time to not be nice. Dalton simply states back, "You won't. I'll tell you".

I love that. Sometimes I get a little "Dalton" in me when I see an injustice occurring in my presence.

Case in point:

I was in the Austin airport waiting for my flight home. My travel arrangements were taking me from Austin to Atlanta, then on to Raleigh. Well, as luck would have it (or KC's luck anyway), there was a storm passing through Atlanta and no flights were allowed to go in or out. The airline announcer said they would get an update from the tower in another 15 minutes or so.

Well, I have been stuck in Atlanta quite a few times, so I make my way to the counter to see if they can divert me through another airport. I have a pleasant wait in line for about 5 minutes chatting with 2 lovely individuals about their travel plans.

I am just about to hand my ticket to the agent and flash him my best smile and ask politely (with some southern twang) what he can do to get me to Raleigh that night. Before I'm able to do so, a gentleman (using that term loosely) from about 20 yards away starts yelling at the agent.

"Hey...Buddy, why haven't you made any announcements about this flight? This is ridiculous!!"

Seriously? Here I am about to try to get a favor and this yahoo decides to yell at MY agent?

Oh, I don't think so.

Good news...I remember Dalton. "Be Nice".

The agent is about to respond when I say to him, "Sweetie, I got your back on this".

I then say to the guy in a very calm and nice manner (he's still 20 yards away, so I raise my voice level to almost meet his): "I'm so sorry that you weren't here a mere 5 minutes ago...he just made the announcement about the Atlanta airport and the tower should have another update in about 10 or so minutes."

I then pause (and give him my best Patrick Swayze stare) to allow said gentleman to respond.

Of course he has nothing left to say.

I turn back to the agent and say, "I'm so sorry for his rudeness, please don't think all travelers are like him."

He then thanks me for standing up for him and asks what he can do for me. I ask if there is anyway to get me back to Raleigh that night. He types on the keyboard for what seemed like an eternity and comes up with a new itinerary on another airline.

Now, I have asked on several past trips to be moved to another airline when there were flight delays and such and have ALWAYS been denied (regardless of my sweet smile). You can imagine my surprise when I see the different airline on my itinerary. I ask how much is that going to cost me and he responds: "I got it. No charge. You were so nice to stand up for me it's the least I could do".

Wow. How nice was that? Not only did I get home, but I also got to be a "cooler". Ok, sort of, not like Patrick Swayze, but you gotta start somewhere.

Am I Too Connected?

2008-10-10T13:05:00.004-04:00

I was reading a blog from one of my friends and he indicated that he has found a way to "put down the device". (I've asked him for his therapist).

For those of you that don't really know what I do for a living, here it is in a nutshell: I sell a wireless mobility platform that enables enterprises to connect to applications and email on handheld devices. Ok, in laymen's terms: I sell wireless email and stuff on neat phones to companies.

This means that I utilize this technology each and every day. Whilst I generally enjoy a couple other addictions, there is one that consumes my life more than the others.

The addiction is: OverConnectedness (trademark pending). I'm sure that some 'doc wanna be' has coined a better phrase than that, but whatever.

A fear of being un-connected drives me to the point of insanity with my bloodshot eyes from awaking to the "ding" of a new message at 1:42 am and not being able to stop the compulsion to pick up one of several mobile devices at my dispoal and see 'what's up'.

OMG...I need help. :-)

I know some of you are smirking right now and saying trite things like, "just leave it in another room", or "turn it off". That is like saying to an alcoholic, "just don't have it in your fridge and you'll be fine". Or to a shopaholic, "just leave your purse in the car". We all know those things don't work.

It's just sad the places I've emailed you guys from. I am good, however, at not emailing from the car while driving. That's just too dangerous. Yes, there are pictures out there of people that were killed/maimed from emailing while driving. So, while I totally dig looking at those gross pics, I would rather not become one of them. Plus, I had a friend of mine tell me (this is about 6-7 years ago) that I had to wear my seatbelt since she didn't think she could be my friend if my face was messed up. I think that she was kidding, but it definitely got me thinking and ever since I've been an avid seat-belt sportin' chick.

I email from the tennis court, restaurant, vehicle, treadmill, airplane/port, bar, church, bathroom. You name it, I've probably sent and/or checked email from that location.

What's a girl to do? What is the cure? I almost don't care. I love being in the 'know'. I love not having to fret about what is waiting for me at the office. I already know what drama is there. There is some comfort in that. Some.

Don't think I don't see your eyes roll when we're in public and I check my device every 8.3 minutes. I almost don't care. Don't judge me.

Don't think I don't hear your comments. I stink at multi-tasking, but I hear you. I almost don't care.

Remember, I have an addiction. Love me anyway.

And, don't try to say this garbage to me: "I tried to reach you". Because, seriously, if you didn't reach me, then you didn't even try. I have 3 voicemail boxes, 2 public email boxes, and some of you know my home address. I even have 2 of my voicemail boxes being translated into email and sent to me. It's so crazy the cool technology that's out there...

Trust me, I'm connected. At least until I find a good therapist.

I got pooped on

2008-10-10T12:48:00.002-04:00

Original post: May 2008

Literally.

Picture it. Saturday morning. Sun is out. Birds are chirping. Perfect day to put the top down on the convertible.

Life is gooooood.

I had a "coffee date" with a promising young lad Saturday am (well, the promise went away after we met, but that's a different story).

After said date, I was driving to a friends house downtown. I pulled into my friend's driveway and all of a sudden I feel something drop onto the middle of my shirt. It's a yellow mustard color.

My first thought was..."What the damn hell is this?"

I look on the hood of my car and realize that I have probably have the remnants of a good ol' fashioned bird poop. I say probably because I was not certain until I....yes...wait for it....took a whiff of my shirt.

EWWWWW....let me confirm for you that are wondering: bird poop smells like poop. I'm not sure why I was even questioning that. You can see the trail on the hood of my red car. The biggest part of it...you've seen it...the white with black specs...on the front. Then another droplet in front of the wiper blade and the finale on my shirt. Nice.

Of course this got me thinking. We have all heard the old addage that it's good luck when a bird poops on you. I did some research. There really is nothing to support this myth. Sure, there are folks on the internet that will tell you they got pooped on and then won $$ at the casino, etc, but seriously?

Then I stumbled upon a nugget. It seems the amount of luck present in any particular poop is directly influenced by the type of bird doing the pooping.

A. The Raven

The Raven is generally considered good luck because of its high intelligence. The larger the quantity of Ravens that poop on you at one time, the larger the amount of your luck. If a person gets pooped on by Seven Ravens or more, that person should be jumping up and down in glee...a great day! Getting pooped on by only one Raven, on the other hand, is not so lucky. This is all apparent in the following Folklore Rhyme:"One Raven for sorrow, Two for joy, Three Ravens for a girl, Four for a boy, Five Ravens for silver, Six for gold, Seven Ravens for a secret never to be told."Another variation of this rhyme continues past Seven: "Eight for a Wish, Nine for a Kiss, Ten for a Time, of Joyous Bliss"The Raven's good luck image comes partly from it's association with Heaven. Looking Ahead Under "Riddled Avians", It Says "Heaven Offers Truth". In Beowulf, the Raven is proclaimed as having communication with the Heavens: "They slept until the black raven, the blithe hearted proclaimed the joy of heaven."On the other hand, seeing a Raven isn't always considered good luck. It really all depends on the circumstances. As any person may correctly assume, seeing a bird suddenly fall dead from mid-air is a very ominous sign. This is especially true when it concerns the Raven. In Babylon, in 323 AD, it is said that as soon as Alexander the Great stepped foot into the city, a flock of Ravens fell dead from the sky. A few weeks later, Alexander, predictably, was dead. Coincidence? I think not.But don't go hating the Raven for causing the death of Alexander the Great. These same Ravens were also the cause of prolonging his life! It is said that Alexander was guided through a desert by two Ravens sent from Heaven.

B. The Owl

Despite the Owl's modern image of an astute and extremely wise creature, most myths associated with the Owl concern Evil tidings.But don't worry if an owl has pooped on your head. There are a few...granted, only a very few...myths that depict the owl in a positive light. In Greek Myth, the Owl is said to be a husband of the goddess of wisdom, Athena. Who wouldn't wanna be pooped on by Athena's man!?!

Perhaps the good luck here is that if pooped on by an Owl, you will get a Greek God for your spouse!!

Getting pooped on by a bird does not necessarily mean good luck. It's very important to look up and see what kind of bird has left you this present. A Raven or an Owl is more often than not a good sign.

If you get pooped on by a sparrow...it just means that you've been pooped on by a sparrow.

Needless to say, I was pooped on by a sparrow or other such bird.

After the pooping, I went into my friends house and tried my best to get it out of my formerly clean white shirt. Then I went about my day...I will NOT be deterred by some poop.

Plus, I was thankful that it was on my shirt and not on my head.

Morale of the story?

Sometimes you're gonna get pooped on. You just have to wipe it off the best you can and continue on.

Just like life.

OMG---am I part of THEM now?

2008-10-10T12:31:00.001-04:00

Original post: march 18, 2008

I think the DVR is an amazing thing. It allows me to have a life outside of tv and not have to miss ’must see’ tv. When I have insomnia in the wee hours of the morning, it’s nice to have the option of watching the infomercial on the Bedazzler or an episode of Rock of Love (c’mon, you know you LOVE to watch 80’s hair rock band guys try to find true love).

I had fallen behind on my Dr. Phil episodes (yes, I dig him---don’t judge me) and had several of them queued up. I chose to watch the one about the girls that claimed they were banned from Southwest Airlines for being "too pretty".

At first, I find this mildly amusing. I’m thinking, "oh, how cute, a couple of 20 year old girls trying to get some media attention".

However, as the story comes more to light, you realize that they have missed a couple of facts. Like, the one that Southwest has never ’banned’ anyone from ever flying them. Or, how about the passenger that sat near them---she stated in the report that one of the girls was cursing and getting belligerent. And, of course, there is the fact that one of them outright lied to Dr. Phil. She stated that she had never said anything to the media about getting banned for being too pretty. (This is my favorite part) Dr. Phil then whips out a piece of paper and says that it’s an email from her to one of the media affiliates he’s associated with. Of course, in the email she states they were banned from Southwest...yada, yada, yada, she’s a liar.

It’s infuriating that after everything that’s happened in our country since 2001, people still choose to act like a fool on an airplane.

By this time, it’s about 2 am and I am literally talking to the tv and saying insane things like, "Are you freakin’ kidding me?" My dog, George, is now used to this so he’s sleeping peacefully on the couch next to me.

I travel quite a bit for business and pleasure. I get on a lot of airplanes (as do some of YOU that are reading this) and here’s where I realized I had moved to another generation. Out loud, to the tv, I said:
"You stupid kids. Who the h&*( do you think you are? Your job when you travel on an airplane is to sit down and shut up."

I’m fairly certain that is something similar to what my mother might say (right Mom?).

Dammit.

I am now officially part of the next generation. Not that I am entirely disappointed by this. I just find it interesting.

As I thought about it more and more (since I wasn’t doing anything else at 2 am), my emotions went from rage to thinking about their behavior to an almost sense of relief that SW decided to hold them accountable for their behavior and have them escorted off the plane by law enforcement.

It gives me hope that someone was not afraid to hold them accountable. We have gotten to this place in our society where everyone feels they should be able to say and do whatever they want, whenever they want and it just makes me crazy.

I don’t understand how it’s remotely possible that you get to be in your 20’s and you’ve not learned when it’s appropriate to escalate a situation. For the record, the time is NOT when you have to pee on an airplane and someone is taking longer than you think they should in the lavatory.

When did being polite go out of style? Someone forgot to cc me on the memo.

Skybus, my 1st and only experience

2008-10-10T12:20:00.002-04:00

From Feb 2008:

At the end of January, I took a flight to see a friend of mine in Ohio. I had the opportunity to take the "Skybus". By now, I'm sure you've seen the ads for the "$10 flights", etc.
I took a flight from Greensboro, NC to Columbus, OH on Thursday night. That flight was fantastic.

As I arrive at the gate, this brand new, bright orange plane with "Skybus" (and their cute logo) pulled up outside. Immediately, I'm stoked because brand new planes exite me. (Yes, clearly, I need to get a life).

It gets better.

As I step onto the plane, I think, "Oh, it's just a regular plane on the inside".

But alas, I was wrong.

I took my aisle seat and strapped in for the hour or so flight. Here is the amazing part: People were walking down the aisle and NOT bumping into me. Not even that 350 lb ex-football player. OMG. The aisles are huge (well, compared to regular planes).

Ahhhh...it was so nice.

It gets better.

The flight itself was uneventful (exactly what we all like in our air travel).

We landed sooooooo beautifully, that when I stepped off the plane, I looked underneath to see if there were actually 10 tires under there.

Seriously, I'm on a lot of planes and this was the best flight I've taken in 5 years.

So, while in Columbus, I sing the praises of Skybus and how it must be the greatest thing since Hello Kitty or Nachos.

This is where I went wrong. Or, another way to put it: Karma is a bitch.

The flight back from Columbus OH, to Greensboro, NC was a little different. Here is what actually transpired:

This is from an actual note that I sent to a couple folks to keep them informed of my situation. My flight was supposed to leave Columbus at 6 am on Monday so that I could be back in the office by 8ish. Note: This flight did not have the fancy new orange skybus aircraft:

"I am still in ohio...been sitting on the tarmac since 5:30 am...issues w the emergency lights. Some FAA thing about safety...yada, yada, yada...we are still in Columbus.
So...I will be in the office a wee bit later than expected. LOL.
The people are very nice though. And...I am close to the cockpit so I get to hear 5 men stand around talking about the problem, but I don't see anyone with a screwdriver or a lightbulb to fix the problem.

So...i got that going for me...hahaha.

Wait...announcement...

Oh goodie...

This is an old plane..."odd ball aircraft" to quote the captain. They are getting one new aircraft per month, but this one has a configuration they are not familiar with.

I feel very safe right now. (sarcasm)

I am going to use the bathroom near the cockpit (yes, I just like saying that word) so I can hear more.

I'll keep you posted.
Kathy "someday i'll fly" Crowley"

Sometime later:
"Ok...now the flight attendant is re-explaining the issue to 3 new people in suits (again...no one with a screwdriver) and they have pulled the 10 pound binder from the shelf marked "skybus flight attendant manual" to review.

I am sure the answer is in there.

Wait...announcement....

Captain says "meeting of the minds" has occurred and we are getting ready to take off.

I guess the answer really was in the manual.

Wow. Props to the lowest paid employee of Skybus for fixing the issue."

Frankly, I think it just got light enough outside so that we didn't need emergency lights after all.

Moral of the story: Cheaper is not always better.

or

Moral of the story: Never underestimate the lowest paid person in a situation.

hmmmm

Moral of the story: Don't fly with KC, you never know what will happen.

True Management Story---facebook (from Jan 2008)

2008-10-02T16:30:00.001-04:00

TodayI have a special treat for you: a story from mymanagement chronicles circa 2008.

January, 2008

So, I was playing around on Facebook (yes, I know whatyou are thinking, but I'm really into it and evenGeorge (my dog) has a page, but that's a story for anotherday).

Note: names have been changed to protect the guilty. However, if you are on my regular email list, you have seen the real names. :-)

One of my friends on facebook is a girl that used towork for me. Let's call her Ann. Ann has a friend named Andy. Andy happens to be one of my current employees (this is KEY to the story).While updating a couple of photos, I think, "hmmm,let's see if I know any of Ann's friends." (I get that this tells volumes about what I don't have goingon in my own life right now).Well, lo and behold, I know Andy.

Here's the taglineon Andy's profile:"Andy is making it the best way he knows how. A new job is now the highlight of the year."

Of course, my immediate thought is "what the damnhell?" Which in turn then leads me to try to think ofthe best way to embarrass him. Because, I figure, hey, why should HE get all the fun??Note: this happened on a holiday so we were not in theoffice.

I send him an email with the subject line: "are youresigning?"Which promts my phone to almost immediately start ringing (figures).

I look at the caller id, let itring 2 more times, then answer."Hi Andy""Hi Kathy""So, you go my email?""yes (slight pause) who told you??"

(KC pauses for dramatic effect)"I saw it on facebook"

(dead silence)"WHAT? I thought my profile was private!"

"Awwww...aren't you cute, thinking anything on the internet is private" (my exact words)I won't bore you with the rest of the conversation,but rest assured, he was mortified that I found outvia facebook.

Moral of the story: Don't try to hide anything from KC, because I WILL find out.

Wait.

Moral of the story: Nothing is private on theinternet.

Hmmm.

Moral of the story: Don't go braggin' about your newjob til you tell your current boss.